Beautiful Notion

It seems today that the common culture is defined by a sense of These Times; these unstable, plunging, depressing, shocking, bursting times.  Every where you turn there is a commercial about working together through the current economic hardship.  Corporate America is letting us know they hear us, they feel us, they are just like us. 

I live in Southern California, where These Times are not only evident, but prevalent.  There are stories every where of people being unemployed for months on end, no health insurance, and a massive mortgage breathing down their necks every month.  The main stream media has latched onto the metaphor of swimming: above water, under water, sinking, treading, on and on.

My husband and I have made a valiant effort in the last couple of years to reduce our debt and get to a comfortable place, an umbrella under which we could stay out of the rain.  And, for the most part it has worked.  Throughout These Times, we have made amazing progress towards all of our finanial goals, we have a budget, we work together, we conserve.  It has paid off.

Now, I have lost my job.  Just typing that makes my heart do a little twirl.  In These Times, I have lost my job.

Then I remembered.  I was watching TV when something the host said made me realize that it has been 10 years since 1999.  10 years.  In 1999 I has the absolute knock down, drag out, no holds barred, worst year of my life.  I was under water.  Right about this time in 1999, I was in such an emotional state that I dropped out of college, and took a job as a grocery checker.  Soon, I made it back to college, and finished.  I hit the job market.  I grew.

Today, I sit in my house, the home I love, with my devoted husband, adorible dog, and a family that is always on my side, and I take a long, deep breath.  Since 1999, I have realized that I am one of the strongest beings on this earth, we all are, when we need to be.  Since 1999, I have learned to value myself, respect my body, and cherish my mind.  I have learned to accept some flaws, and work to change others.  All of the things I have learned since 1999, have given me the confidence to know that all I need to do to survive These Times is remain calm and breath.  Today, I have so much more than I did then.  Today, I know so much more than I did then.  Today, I love so much more than I did then.  How beatiful a notion. 

Beautiful Notion

The recent presidential inauguration had me thinking a lot about my grandma. From what I can remember, she was born in 1919. I always marveled at her resilience and determination. She lived through both World Wars, the Depression and the silicon revolution. She was the kind of woman who kept gold coins underneath the false bottom of the broom closet. She was a vegetarian. She was a political activist. She had a wood burning oven and a hot plate and she washed all her clothes by hand in the kitchen sink. By choice. She was a member of her local community garden. The members all shared the harvest, and then donated any left-overs to the local soup kitchen. How beautiful a notion.

I'm not really much of a gardener. Most of the plants I own, or have owned, have experienced the slow march towards mulch as their leaves turn brown and desiccated. And yet, my favorite class, ever, was 7th grade horticulture. We all got a triangle of land, seeds and tools. We got to take home everything we grew. I was 12 years old, sitting on the bus with a grocery bag full of kale, beaming with pride, because no one else had a bag of vegetables that they had grown. We made cheese, butter, and ice cream from fresh cows milk. We made sun-dried apple chips.

My forebearers have all kept gardens. But they all lived in the country. I live in sunny Southern California, where red tile roofs and peach stucco houses are found in neat rows along every visible ridge line. A place where I recently watched, while I sat in my SUV on the freeway, an estuary being filled in with dirt to make room for a new neighborhood.